Nothing That Can't Wait Until Later

   My husband and I went out to dinner this week to celebrate his break from the Capitalist Machine (aka his job).   We went to a local steakhouse.  Ok, it was a chain restaurant, but since it is in our neighborhood, that makes it “local”. 

   Anyway, we sat down at the bar while we waited for our plastic remote control thingy to buzz that our table was ready.  We ordered two wines, clinked glasses and sipped.  I set my glass down and glanced over the bar area.  There was a couple at a table nearby.   Both the man and the woman were texting on their cell phones.  When they were done, they set the phones down in front of them.  Why?  Why not put them back in their pockets?

   Then I watched a couple sit down next to us.  The woman was texting something irrelevant to someone of little importance while her husband just stood there being ignored.  Truth be told, he didn’t look much like he cared that he was thrown over for a keyboard the size of a fingernail.   

   Right next to that couple was another couple.  The man, a military looking jock with a buzz cut, sat there manipulating his blackberries while his girlfriend sat next to him literally with her mouth open, in a fog.  I watched her for a full minute.  Her hand was keeping her head up, her eyes were unfocused staring at nothing.   She didn’t blink the entire time I stared at her.   Next to her, he just typed away.  

   Back to the couple next to us, she finally finished whatever conversation she was having and put the phone down in front of her.   She took a sip of wine, glanced down at the phone.  Said something to her husband, looked at the phone.  Although she finally set it down, it still dominated her interest.  

    Once we were seated, I looked around.  The couple in the booth next to us munched away, but both had a phone on the table in front of them.  They each periodically picked it up to check on it.  I have no idea what they were looking for or hoping to find.   And I didn’t really care. 

   Meanwhile, I sat at our table with my husband, my best friend.   I wanted to hear what he wanted to tell me.  He was sharing his last day with the company to whom he has given 20 years of his life.  He told me how he said goodbye to his friends, he talked about what he will do in the next few weeks.  He mentioned a couple jobs he would like to pursue.  

   And I soaked up every word.  I love the sound of his voice, I always have.   I love to watch him when he talks about something that excites him.  And I think his eyes are beautiful.  I adore the way he looks at me. 

I was there to spend time with my husband, not my stupid cell phone.  I wanted to know what HE had to say, not what someone else can wait until later to tell me.  

   I abhor the use of cell phones in a place people go to be together and share thoughts with each other.  Why go out and be together if you are just going to sit there checking your stupid phones just in case you hear something more interesting from a person you aren’t even with.  What the hell can’t wait until later? 

If I had pulled out a phone and started checking it while my husband was talking, what message would that have sent to him?   That what he had to tell me wasn’t very important and in the middle of a conversation, I was seeking other companionship by checking my phone to see if someone more fascinating was trying to get in touch with me.   

   Why on earth would I want to send that terrible message to him?  I went to dinner with my husband and during that dinner, I wanted to focus on him and I wanted him to focus on me.  

It is just so disrespectful to the person you are with to keep checking your stupid phone.   Pay attention to the person you are with. You are with them for a reason.  

   Hang up your damn phone.  Turn it off.  Put it in your pocket.  Don’t look at it for an hour.  Quit worrying that you are going to miss something.   Cuz you know what?  You aren’t.  Life isn’t that interesting to require an update every 10 minutes.  You are not that interesting and neither are your friends.  You aren’t going to die if you don’t hear about Betty Sue’s breakup until tomorrow morning.  Just chill.

    We went to the mall today and saw the same thing.  We got a slice of pizza in the food court and sat down to watch all the techies play with their stupid phones.  There was one table of teenage girls that just made me laugh out loud.  All three girls just sat there not talking to each other because they were all texting on their phones.  If you think about it, each girl was with two of her friends, but that wasn’t enough.  Each girl had to pull into the moment someone from another galaxy or zip code because what, her two tablemates were boring?  They weren’t enough stimulation?  Then why be with them?  

    I don’t know, maybe its just me.  But I think you should focus on the person across the table from you. Make that person feel like you find them as interesting as you find your phone.  Respect them by listening to them, making eye contact when they speak, laughing at their jokes and showing them you enjoy their company.  Make them feel loved and important.     

    And if you do keep checking your phone, then leave your friend and go sit on park bench all by yourself.   Obviously the person you are with isn’t important enough to require your full attention.   So just go somewhere that you can be alone with your phone.  Snuggle up to it, have dinner with it.  Text until your thumbs fall off.   I don’t care.  Know why?  Because I am at home, nice and warm with a man who enjoys me just because I am me.

     I love the one I’m with.  At least who I am with is human.   Who do you share your nights with?