Pink Everything

Pink mixers, pink pens, pink flags, pink toasters, pink t-shirts, pink paper, pink purses, pink lunchbags.

 

But now, I’ve had enough.  Pink Curbside Garbage Cans.  That is just the limit for me.  Picture this. 

Cold morning, 28 degrees

Huge diesel waste truck pulls up to the curb of a house.

Tall man in heavy jacket hops off the truck bundled in knit hat, thick work gloves, stained leather work boots.

And he grabs – a gigantic PINK curbside garbage can.

I’ve been tolerating the whole pink thing.  I get it.  I understand that it is for support and awareness of breast cancer.   I get that.  But:

1. Pink is ugly

2. Pink is one of my least favorite colors

3. Pink is ugly

4.  Pink only reminds me of stomach upset (Pepto Bismol)

5.  Pink is ugly

6.  A gigantic plastic pink 50 gallon trash can sitting on the curb of someone’s house does not say to me “I support breast cancer research.”  It says to me, “I’m nuts and wanted a huge pink eyesore on my lawn.”

What does say “support”?  Bras.  Which brings the circle back to breasts.

Yea, I have them.  I know.  And the thought of losing them terrifies me.  The thought that they could kill me terrifies me.   HOWEVER, I try not to think about them or dying because of them very often. 

I do not want to be reminded that I have breasts and that they could kill me everytime I bake a cake and use my pink mixer, or make some toast and use my pink toaster, or call a friend and use a pink phone. Or throw away the toast crumbs and the cake box into my 50 gallon curbside waste receptacle!

So, yes, I get it.  I support the research too.  But I do it by sending a check to someone, not by polluting my environment with everything pink!   My kitchen counters are 1970’s mustard yellow.  Can you imagine putting a pink mixer on that?  

And think of this.  I purchase a pink mixer and have to stare at it for 20 years (if it is well made), just to support a ONE TIME donation to cancer research.   Ack!   Sounds more like a punishment to me.  No thanks.  I'll just send in a check.

And did I mention?  Pink is ugly.