Oxy Moron

Is an Oxy Moron just a stupid pimple?

Holy What?

When the Pope poops, 

is it considered 

Holy Crap?

Emily Post Missed This One

Many eons ago, back in high school, my friend Beth and I were driving somewhere.  During our uneventful journey, we passed a cemetery.  Beth pointed to it and said, "My grandmother is buried there."

How are you supposed to respond to that?  

"Oh, well she makes nice fertilizer, the lawn is lovely."

I'm thinking no, but maybe it's just me.

Who Says Romance Is Dead?

Hubby and I were driving somewhere the other day.   The car is a stick-shift, and I was the driver.  As we are humming along down the street, out of the corner of my eye I see him sliding his hand toward me. 

His hand landed softly atop mine and I thought to myself, "How sweet!  17 years of marriage and he still does romantic things like holding my hand while driving!"

But then, I realized he was lifting my hand up and moving it to the shifter.  He dropped my hand onto the shifter knob and said, "You're in the wrong gear."  

Pretty much let the air out of my balloon.

For any men who happen to be reading this, THIS is why women are forced to read romance novels!