My husband and I went out to dinner this week to celebrate
his break from the Capitalist Machine (aka his job). We went to a local steakhouse. Ok, it was a chain restaurant, but since it
is in our neighborhood, that makes it “local”.
Anyway, we sat down at the bar while we waited for our
plastic remote control thingy to buzz that our table was ready. We ordered two wines, clinked glasses and
sipped. I set my glass down and glanced
over the bar area. There was a couple at
a table nearby. Both the man and the
woman were texting on their cell phones.
When they were done, they set the phones down in front of them. Why? Why
not put them back in their pockets?
Then I watched a couple sit down next to us. The woman was texting something irrelevant to
someone of little importance while her husband just stood there being
ignored. Truth be told, he didn’t look
much like he cared that he was thrown over for a keyboard the size of a
fingernail.
Right next to that couple was another couple. The man, a military looking jock with a buzz
cut, sat there manipulating his blackberries while his girlfriend sat next to
him literally with her mouth open, in a fog.
I watched her for a full minute.
Her hand was keeping her head up, her eyes were unfocused staring at
nothing. She didn’t blink the entire
time I stared at her. Next to her, he just typed away.
Back to the couple next to us, she finally finished whatever
conversation she was having and put the phone down in front of her. She took a sip of wine, glanced down at the
phone. Said something to her husband,
looked at the phone. Although she finally
set it down, it still dominated her interest.
Once we were seated, I looked around. The couple in the booth next to us munched
away, but both had a phone on the table in front of them. They each periodically picked it up to check
on it. I have no idea what they were
looking for or hoping to find. And I
didn’t really care.
Meanwhile, I sat at our table with my husband, my best
friend. I wanted to hear what he wanted
to tell me. He was sharing his last day
with the company to whom he has given 20 years of his life. He told me how he said goodbye to his
friends, he talked about what he will do in the next few weeks. He mentioned a couple jobs he would like to
pursue.
And I soaked up every word.
I love the sound of his voice, I always have. I love to watch him when he talks about
something that excites him. And I think
his eyes are beautiful. I adore the way
he looks at me.
I was there to spend time with my husband, not my stupid
cell phone. I wanted to know what HE had
to say, not what someone else can wait until later to tell me.
I abhor the use of cell phones in a place people go to be
together and share thoughts with each other.
Why go out and be together if you are just going to sit there checking
your stupid phones just in case you hear something more interesting from a
person you aren’t even with. What the
hell can’t wait until later?
If I had pulled out a phone and started checking it while my
husband was talking, what message would that have sent to him? That what he had to tell me wasn’t very
important and in the middle of a conversation, I was seeking other
companionship by checking my phone to see if someone more fascinating was
trying to get in touch with me.
Why on earth would I want to send that terrible message to
him? I went to dinner with my husband
and during that dinner, I wanted to focus on him and I wanted him to focus on
me.
It is just so disrespectful to the person you are with to keep
checking your stupid phone. Pay
attention to the person you are with. You are with them for a reason.
Hang up your damn phone.
Turn it off. Put it in your
pocket. Don’t look at it for an
hour. Quit worrying that you are going
to miss something. Cuz you know
what? You aren’t. Life isn’t that
interesting to require an update every 10 minutes. You are not that interesting and neither are
your friends. You aren’t going to die if
you don’t hear about Betty Sue’s breakup until tomorrow morning. Just chill.
We went to the mall today and saw the same thing. We got a slice of pizza in the food court and
sat down to watch all the techies play with their stupid phones. There was one table of teenage girls that
just made me laugh out loud. All three
girls just sat there not talking to each other because they were all texting on
their phones. If you think about it, each
girl was with two of her friends, but that wasn’t enough. Each girl had to pull into the moment someone
from another galaxy or zip code because what, her two tablemates were boring? They weren’t enough stimulation? Then why be with them?
I don’t know, maybe its just me. But I think you should focus on the person
across the table from you. Make that person feel like you find them as
interesting as you find your phone. Respect
them by listening to them, making eye contact when they speak, laughing at
their jokes and showing them you enjoy their company. Make them feel loved and important.
And if you do keep checking your phone, then leave your
friend and go sit on park bench all by yourself. Obviously the person you are with isn’t
important enough to require your full attention. So just go somewhere that you can be alone
with your phone. Snuggle up to it, have
dinner with it. Text until your thumbs
fall off. I don’t care. Know why?
Because I am at home, nice and warm with a man who enjoys me just
because I am me.
I love the one I’m with.
At least who I am with is human.
Who do you share your nights with?
